Dating Foundations



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September 3, 2013

What is the best first text?

So you’ve met a hot girl in the club, on the street, at the library, whatever. You got her number and everything went great. But now you have to send the first text. If you show any signs of being needy or desperate then you’ll scare her away. So what do you do to avoid coming across that way? What is the best first text to send?

Well wherever you met her, it’s important that you are the one that sends the first text. Don’t wait for her or expect her to text first. You want to be the one that is leading the interaction, that’s the man’s role.

The first text should be something that sparks her emotions. A lot of guys will make the first text way too logical and say something like “It was nice meeting you” or “Hope you got home safely”. Not only are these texts completely boring, but they spark no emotion in her! Send a first text like that and you’re well on your way to becoming her “texting friend”.

You want to send a short, simple message that sparks her emotions and leaves your name.

The absolute best first text to send is one that brings up an inside joke you had from your earlier interaction. You should be making inside jokes with women as much as you can. They’re great for using in text messages as they can spark the emotion that you previously had in person. An inside joke can come from a variety of different things. Quite often they’ll just “happen” during normal conversation. The best ones come from things you’ve teased her about but here are some other ideas:

  • Something you did together (comment on her dancing, pool / bowling skills, etc)
  • Something about her that you saw / found out  (her accent, where she’s from, what she was wearing, etc)
  • Anything funny that happened or that you noticed while you were with her

So try and include an inside joke, but keep it fairly short. Don’t use more than 1 inside joke in the message. If you have more then you can use them in later messages (and including more than 1 in the first message is going to make it too long).

Sometimes you’ll have only had a very short interaction and you won’t have had much of a conversation. Therefore you’re not going to have any kind of inside joke to work from. In these situations you can just send a text about something that you’re up to at the moment or something that’s happened with you since you met her. But make sure it’s not too logical, it should still be something that sparks her emotions, something a bit flirty.

Lastly, don’t expect a response. If she does respond, then great! You can start a good conversation with her and start working towards meeting up. But don’t expect a response (so don’t ask a question). The purpose of the first message is just to get yourself on her radar.

And that’s it! Send the message and don’t sit there waiting for a reply. She may reply, she may not. It really doesn’t matter. Get on with your life and don’t worry about it!